Mental Health

Celebration of “Survival”

September 25, 2010

Last weekend I was invited to perform at the Annual General Meeting of the Hong Fook Mental Health Association.  What a wonderful group of people!   When I arrived, I was warmly greeted by staff and volunteers, who were all working hard to prepare for the event.   Many of the volunteers are themselves people who live with mental health issues, and it was so encouraging to see them being accepted and be appreciated for all they contribute.  I was invited to share my journey with depression through music and words.  I sang and spoke for about 30 minutes, and was touched by the warm and gracious response from everyone.  I ran into and old friend who works for Hong Fook.  She didn’t have to go to the meeting that day but she told me she made it a point to go because apparently she couldn’t get tickets to my last concert and when she found out I was performing she wanted to make sure she was there to encourage me.  As it is always the case, just when I think I am going to bring encouragement, I end up being the one encouraged.

When the emcee of the meeting was introducing me and I was getting ready to go on, I looked at the programme for the first time and saw that beside my name, they put the description: “survivor”.  Now, I’ve been called many things in my life, but this is the first time I’ve been called that :-)   At first I wasn’t sure what to think of it, but then it hit me that “title” puts me in a pretty elite group.  A group that many of you belong to…

I thought of those of you who have lived though the trauma of unemployment.  When you received notice that you have lost your job.  A thousand fears flooded your mind that instant…will you lose your house?  How will you pay for your son’s schooling?  Where will you find another job?   How will you tell your wife, she will be so worried…but you didn’t quit.  You pulled through, still standing tall.

I thought of those who had been hurt by those whom you loved, those whom you thought were friends.  You were betrayed, let down, wounded, abandoned, left to die.  You vowed you will never trust again, never love again, never give anyone else a chance to hurt you again.  Yet you couldn’t live up to that vow.  Your loving nature came through, and today you found yourself with new friends and a new community. 

I thought of those of you who lives with the threat of disease.  When the diagnosis first came, it was like the pronouncement of a death sentence.  But rather than dreading and worrying and fearing how long you still have, you set out to treasure each and every day.   Your lives remind me of the truth that ALL of us are dying.  But it is up to us to choose whether we want to truly LIVE.

As I looked down at the programme: “Keynote Presentation: Alfred Lam…Survivor”, I felt proud to be in your company.  Look at you!  You are here!  You lived through it!  Congratulations!

As opposed to my “previous life” when I was introduced as “Dr.” or “Rev.” or “Pastor”, my new “title” reminds me that I do not speak as one who is “above” the audience.   I am just one of many who share the same journey.  For some of us the journey has been long.  For some the climb is steep.  ALL of us have times when we want to stop.   But in the end, what matters is not how fast we walk or if we are quicker than the next guy.  What matters is that at the end of each day, we are still standing.  We  have survived. We will rest, and then we will face the battle of another day.

Here’s to you.  Here’s to all of us: “The Survivors”.

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How’s Life?

August 24, 2010

A few nights ago I was chatting with someone I haven’t talked to in a while and we talked about my journey over the last number of years.  In the course of the conversation we talked about what it’s like to live with depression, and he asked, “So, how’s life for you these days?”

I thought for a while, not sure how to respond.  Eventually I said, “I have learned to live one day at a time.  Some days are better than others.  There are days when everything seems bright, and hopeful, and joyous, and I feel like I am soaring with wings like an eagle.   There are days when things seem dark, and hopeless and I struggle to find my smile, and I feel like I am just trying to walk and not faint.  But I have learned that’s okay, because that’s life.  Most days I hit the pillow knowing that I have not been as good as I could have been, and I close my eyes hoping that tomorrow will be a better day than today.”

It was then that I realize the last few years have taught me an important lesson about life.  Life is lived today.  Life ls lived one day at a time, one moment at a time.  Rather than getting caught up in drafting 10 year visions and 5 year plans, I am simply learning to live moment by moment:  Waking up this morning, feeling the warmth of the morning sun on my bed, tying pig tails for my little girl as I dropped her off at daycare, sending a text message to my wife tell her I love her, sharing a laugh over lunch with my friends at work, sitting down by my little girl’s bedside, just watching her sleep, enjoying the peace of being alone late at night, writing down my thoughts…

Here’s to enjoying the moments of our everyday lives.  And thanks for sharing your moment with me, reading this. :-)

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The Healing Power of Music

December 15, 2009

Last night I performed at the Christmas Volunteer Appreciation Dinner of the Canadian Mental Health Association (York Region Branch).  What a wonderful group of people!  Many of the volunteers themselves have been diagnosed with a mental illness.  They have received support and help from this wonderful organization and as a way of giving back and [...]

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Reality of Living with Depression (II)

November 18, 2009

Last week we saw in the news the tragic death of Robert Enke, a top German professional soccer goal keeper.   At the height of his career, Robert Enke took his own life.  It was only after his passing that details of his battle with depression were made known to the public.   Those close to Enke revealed that even though [...]

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Reality of Living with Depression

November 7, 2009

I remembered it as clear as if it happened yesterday. It was about 4 years ago.  I was driving on the 401.  An 18-wheeler (transport truck) pulled up right beside me.  For a long stretch, we raced down the highway side by side. I remember the thought rising up inside me: “Go on…if you steer [...]

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