A few nights ago I was chatting with someone I haven’t talked to in a while and we talked about my journey over the last number of years. In the course of the conversation we talked about what it’s like to live with depression, and he asked, “So, how’s life for you these days?”
I thought for a while, not sure how to respond. Eventually I said, “I have learned to live one day at a time. Some days are better than others. There are days when everything seems bright, and hopeful, and joyous, and I feel like I am soaring with wings like an eagle. There are days when things seem dark, and hopeless and I struggle to find my smile, and I feel like I am just trying to walk and not faint. But I have learned that’s okay, because that’s life. Most days I hit the pillow knowing that I have not been as good as I could have been, and I close my eyes hoping that tomorrow will be a better day than today.”
It was then that I realize the last few years have taught me an important lesson about life. Life is lived today. Life ls lived one day at a time, one moment at a time. Rather than getting caught up in drafting 10 year visions and 5 year plans, I am simply learning to live moment by moment: Waking up this morning, feeling the warmth of the morning sun on my bed, tying pig tails for my little girl as I dropped her off at daycare, sending a text message to my wife tell her I love her, sharing a laugh over lunch with my friends at work, sitting down by my little girl’s bedside, just watching her sleep, enjoying the peace of being alone late at night, writing down my thoughts…
Here’s to enjoying the moments of our everyday lives. And thanks for sharing your moment with me, reading this. 
Last night I performed at the Christmas Volunteer Appreciation Dinner of the Canadian Mental Health Association (York Region Branch). What a wonderful group of people! Many of the volunteers themselves have been diagnosed with a mental illness. They have received support and help from this wonderful organization and as a way of giving back and contributing, they serve as volunteers to help others in need. Many of these folks live in difficult financial circumstances, yet they demonstrate an incredible spirit of generosity. They are a living testimony to me that life is not measured by how much you own, but by how much you are willing to give of yourself.
I performed a short set for about 15 minutes. Towards the end I said that despite being a season of joy and celebration, for many of us Christmas is a difficult time. I ended the set with the song “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” as an encouragement and blessing to them.
The MC remarked about the healing power of music as she brought the evening to a close. Afterwards an older gentleman came up to talk with me. We talked about the realities of living with depression. I told him hwo music has always given me that safe place of retreat even during my darkest days. He then told me that he had decided to learn to play the guitar! Horray for another guitar convert!! Another gentleman told me that he started playing with the idea of joining his church choir. I witness again that not only does music has a power to heal, but it also has a way of breaking down barriers and bringing people together.
As I walked out the door, a lady shook my hand and simply said, “Keep singing!” I was reminded once again, that my “calling” in life is to be a messenger, using words and music to bring encouragement and hope. The goal is simple: Everyday striving to be a better person than I was yesterday, and hopefully inspiring others to do the same.
For all my musician friends: Keep singing, keep playing, don’t ever stop. Someone is listening. Just as you think no one is bothering to listen, someone comes along to remind you: “Keep Singing!”
This friday I am going to try my hand at “Street Singing” I am volunteering to watch the Salvation Army Kettle at Hillcrest Mall (Yonge and 16th) from 2-4pm and I figured I’d bring my guitar along and just sing to the people passing by in the mall. It should be fun
So…look after yourselves during this season, and have yourself a merry little Christmas
