Marriage

Today was a historic day as President Obama publically expressed his personal support for legalizing gay marriages in the U.S.  He is the first U.S. President to do so.  Reactions to the “annoucement” grew like a tidal wave with people passionately weighing in and speaking out on both sides.  For myself I admired what he did not only because of WHAT he said, but the WAY he said it, and HOW he got there:

(1) He took his time and acknowledged it was an “evolving” process.  In his interview,  he acknowledged as he has done before that this was something that he struggled with, and that his position and his views had “evolved” over time.  I think this is an important lesson for all of us to learn.  I am a Christian, and I have long been troubled by the way the church has handled the homosexual discussion.   Whenever the issue of homosexual rights comes up, usually in some political arena, we are often encouraged by our church leaders to speak now, speak loud, speak to whoever will listen, write letters, sign petitions, flood the offices of elected officials with phone calls, etc.  The President taught us today that there is a need to take time, to think, to reflect, before speaking.  Yes, the “Christian voice” is needed in our society.  But without the “Christian mind” and the “Christian ear” being engaged, more often than not the “voice” ends up being anything but “Christian”.

(2) He wrestled with the issue until he can reconcile his view with his Christian worldview.  I was ESPECIALLY encouraged by the fact that the President openly declared that he has come to a place where he felt comfortable with his support for gay marriages being harmonious with his Christian identity and worldview.  This was important to me.   Not just because of his position on the issue, but for demonstrating that as Christians, our worldview should be growing and evolving rather than being a static system of dogma.

(3) His arrived at his position from interacting with people, not just wrestling with competing ideologies.  He spoke of his daughters, his friends, veterans he spoke with, and so on.  Real life, flesh and blood people.  I was touched when I heard that part of the interview because I resonnoate with that journey.  My own views and position on this was drastically influenced and shaped by my experience with the LGBT community.  When I volunteered to serve AIDS patients and spoke with many from the homosexual community, when I photographed the PRIDE parade and listened to some of the dialogue, the issue no longer rested on the level of ideology.  I wish more Christians have had the opportunities that I had, of meeting and speaking with people from the LGBT community, to listen to their stories and their experiences, many of them rather heartbreaking.  Perhaps if we speak less, or at least speak a little slower, listen more, and become “passionate” slower about this issue, we will act differently.  Perhaps we will come across a little more wisely,  with a little more compassion, and ultimately a little more Christ-like.

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” James 1:19

 

Be the first to comment

月亮代表我的心

May 10, 2010

Yesterday we threw a 45th wedding anniversary party for my parents.  Mom and Dad didn’t want a huge deal, as they really wanted it to be a night to spend time with a small circle of long time,  life long friends.   The four of us (myself and Anna, my sister and her husband) became the de facto organizing committee for the party.   My Dad, in a bit of a surprising move, asked me to perform a set at the party.  I of course was honored to sing for them at such a beautiful occasion.  As the date drew closer, my dad made a special request:  he wanted me to perform the well known Mandarin love song “月亮代表我的心” (The moon reflects my heart) for them.   The song carried a special meaning for me:  The first day we picked up Taylor from China, the whole group of “new parents” went out for dinner that night at a large Chinese restaurant in Nanjing.  It was the first meal we had together with our little girl.  At the restaurant, there was a live band singing, and as I held my little girl, the singing was singing that song (月亮代表我的心).  I just never knew that it was a special song for Dad as well. 

There were many touching moments at the party…old family pictures that we have not seen (thankfully!) for a long time, friends that my parents have not seen in over 10 years came, the grandkids presenting their gifts to their grand parents, just to name a few.  But my favorite moment came when I was singing that song that Dad had requested.  As I introduced the song, I tried to put my Dad on the spot by  asking him to sing it instead.  No chance :-)    But as I was singing the song, Dad sat down beside Mom and sang the song to her.   Anna was singing with me and she said she had to look away, because if she looked any longer she would not have been able to finish the song.

Thinking back now to last night, I learned from that moment what made it possible for my parents to have been married 45 years.  Both of them are not as healthy and strong as they once were.   In fact, mom’s leg was giving her so much pain that she had to shuffle around on an office chair with wheels throughout the night.   But they both shared with everyone how much the passing of time had made them treasure each moment they have together.  As Dad sang that song to Mom, it was as if he was saying to her, “It doesn’t matter what circumstances we face, as long as you know what’s in my heart, that is enough.”   I learned, right there and then, that no one can set out to build a 45 year marriage.  You can only build your marriage, from your heart out, one moment at a time.

你問我愛你有多深﹐我愛你有幾分; 請你想一想﹐請你看一看﹐月亮代表我的心

2 comments

Another Step Forward

May 18, 2009

This past Sunday we enjoyed an interesting worship service at our church. Rather than the “typical” teaching/preaching time, we had what was called a “family worship time”: Each of us were given a piece of paper and crayons and we were encouraged to draw a picture in answer to certain questions about our experiences of [...]

5 comments Read the full article →

On Easter

April 10, 2009

This has been a special weekend for us. As part of the week-long surprise birthday celebration I planned for Anna, after I picked her up from work on Thursday evening, we drove 9 straight hours to spend the weekend in Chicago. Anna didn’t suspect a thing! I even managed to pack her bags for the [...]

6 comments Read the full article →

Thoughts from a day of purging…

November 30, 2008

“Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body” (Ecc 12:12) Today, in preparation for doing some renovations in the house, we spent the day doing some much needed “purging”. As part of that process, Anna and I went through our collection of books, some of them from our university [...]

1 comment Read the full article →

Our Anniversary (16th)

September 5, 2008

So today is our 16th wedding anniversary. It’s been a while since we went out with just the two of us, so with my sister offering to take care of Taylor, we went with a friend’s recommendation and went to a HIGHLY rated sushi restaurant for dinner. It was absolutely the BEST sushi we have [...]

6 comments Read the full article →

End of Summer :-(

September 1, 2008

Today is the last day of Summer…well, perhaps not officially, but we always look at the last day of the Labor Day Weekend as the last day of summer. After dinner at home, we decided to go down to the Harbour Front area for a walk and some ice-cream. As the sun was setting, I [...]

0 comments Read the full article →