This past Sunday we enjoyed an interesting worship service at our church. Rather than the “typical” teaching/preaching time, we had what was called a “family worship time”: Each of us were given a piece of paper and crayons and we were encouraged to draw a picture in answer to certain questions about our experiences of God. There was a list of perhaps 15-20 questions to choose from, and we were told to simply pick one that “speaks” to us and draw a picture as a response.
When I looked down the list of questions, I came to one that for some reason drew me in. The question was: “What would a reflection of God’s smile look like?”
For some reason, I couldn’t take my eyes away from the phrase “God’s smile”. On one hand, it sounded like something so abstract. But as I thought about it, slowly the abstract became concrete. In my mind I saw the smiles of Anna and Taylor. It then occured to me that the one place on earth where I experience what is closest to God’s unconditional and undeserved love, and yes, see God’s smile is at home. So I grabbed my crayons and paper and produced the above masterpiece 
Following the “family worship time”, we had the weekly Lord’s Supper time. A few “Worship stations” are set up with bread and wine, and members are encouraged to go up and partake the Lord Supper whenever they are ready. So far, I have never taken part in it. After my experience of betrayal and rejection by those whom I trusted the most in my former community, I really was not sure if I ever want to be a part of any Christian community again. But last Sunday, as I sat there looking down at the picture that I had drawn, “seeing” God’s smile, for the first time in a long, long time, I felt “safe”. Suddenly, at the same time Anna turned to me and asked, “would you like to go and partake the Jesus meal with me?” (That was the first time she’s asked me.) I nodded yes, and we went up together. There was no fanfare, everyone was worshipping and reflecting in their own “space”. But for the first time in almost 2 years, I took part in that rich, historical, symbolic act of Christian community. Clutching the picture in my hand, it was as if for the first time, I saw God smiling at me. As I quietly took the bread and the wine, the weekly repeated words rang in my ears with renewed meaning: “This is my body, broken, for YOU…”
This has been a special weekend for us. As part of the week-long surprise birthday celebration I planned for Anna, after I picked her up from work on Thursday evening, we drove 9 straight hours to spend the weekend in Chicago. Anna didn’t suspect a thing! I even managed to pack her bags for the weekend, with all the right cloths, clean underwear for everyone, AND all her lotions and potions! (To all those of little faith and doubted if I can pull it off, let me hear you now…who’s your daddy??
It’s been a while since the last time I drove 9 hours straight. But surprisingly I did ok. On the way down, Anna and I had a lot of time to talk. We talked about Taylor, we talked about our marriage, we talked about our plans for the future, we talked about our dreams, and we talked about our faith. We both noted that being away meant we won’t be attending any church services or religious activities over the Easter weekend.
A few short years ago this would’ve been unthinkable. But life for us has changed over the last couple of years. To this day, we feel sad and hurt about the abandonment and betrayal we suffered from some in the church community that we had devoted our entire lives to. To this day, special days like Easter brings us saddness at the notion of being abandoned and left behind. But at the same time, we both felt that leaving that environment has done more to crystalize and grow our faith than anything else we have experienced in more than 20 years of being Christians. It has forced us to stop defining our faith by membership to an institution or attendence at meetings.
Rather, we now see our Christian faith as a daily decision to live the kind of lives that Jesus modelled for us. Jesus said, “I am the way…” We now see that Jesus did not come to start a “religion”. Rather, He came to announce good news and to give us a model. The good news is that the Kingdom of God is here. God is here, and God is at work in doing something greater than we can ever imagine. Jesus then modeled a way of living, and offered us a Way to live that will allow our lives to become part of what God wants to do in the world.
This changes everything for us. For us, Easter no longer means attending a once a year special church service. Rather, we “celebrate” Easter daily by living with the conviction that today, and everyday, I can wake up to the reality that God wants to do something new in me and through me. As we talked on the long drive down to Chicago, we realized that throughout this journey, God has “overhauled” our lives and put in a whole bunch of new parts: our understanding of Him and His work, our appreciation for family and friendship, our marriage, our way of parenthood, among other things.
We had a great weekend with lots of good eats (Chicago deep dish pizza…yummm but we had to leave Chicago at 6am on Sunday morning because we wanted to catch Taylor’s skating class in Toronto Sunday afternoon. As I drove off, I reflected on the whole weekend with all the laughter and good food, fun with Taylor, long talks with Anna, and it occured to me that this was probably the most meaningful Easter weekend that I have ever “attended”. I looked out the car and saw the Sun just beginning to rise over the beautiful Chicago skyline. What a breath taking, beautiful sight! It was as if God was whispering: “Look! A new day has begun…”
This past Sunday we enjoyed an interesting worship service at our church. Rather than the “typical” teaching/preaching time, we had what was called a “family worship time”: Each of us were given a piece of paper and crayons and we were encouraged to draw a picture in answer to certain questions about our experiences of God. There was a list of perhaps 15-20 questions to choose from, and we were told to simply pick one that “speaks” to us and draw a picture as a response.
