September 2010

Celebration of “Survival”

September 25, 2010

Last weekend I was invited to perform at the Annual General Meeting of the Hong Fook Mental Health Association.  What a wonderful group of people!   When I arrived, I was warmly greeted by staff and volunteers, who were all working hard to prepare for the event.   Many of the volunteers are themselves people who live with mental health issues, and it was so encouraging to see them being accepted and be appreciated for all they contribute.  I was invited to share my journey with depression through music and words.  I sang and spoke for about 30 minutes, and was touched by the warm and gracious response from everyone.  I ran into and old friend who works for Hong Fook.  She didn’t have to go to the meeting that day but she told me she made it a point to go because apparently she couldn’t get tickets to my last concert and when she found out I was performing she wanted to make sure she was there to encourage me.  As it is always the case, just when I think I am going to bring encouragement, I end up being the one encouraged.

When the emcee of the meeting was introducing me and I was getting ready to go on, I looked at the programme for the first time and saw that beside my name, they put the description: “survivor”.  Now, I’ve been called many things in my life, but this is the first time I’ve been called that :-)   At first I wasn’t sure what to think of it, but then it hit me that “title” puts me in a pretty elite group.  A group that many of you belong to…

I thought of those of you who have lived though the trauma of unemployment.  When you received notice that you have lost your job.  A thousand fears flooded your mind that instant…will you lose your house?  How will you pay for your son’s schooling?  Where will you find another job?   How will you tell your wife, she will be so worried…but you didn’t quit.  You pulled through, still standing tall.

I thought of those who had been hurt by those whom you loved, those whom you thought were friends.  You were betrayed, let down, wounded, abandoned, left to die.  You vowed you will never trust again, never love again, never give anyone else a chance to hurt you again.  Yet you couldn’t live up to that vow.  Your loving nature came through, and today you found yourself with new friends and a new community. 

I thought of those of you who lives with the threat of disease.  When the diagnosis first came, it was like the pronouncement of a death sentence.  But rather than dreading and worrying and fearing how long you still have, you set out to treasure each and every day.   Your lives remind me of the truth that ALL of us are dying.  But it is up to us to choose whether we want to truly LIVE.

As I looked down at the programme: “Keynote Presentation: Alfred Lam…Survivor”, I felt proud to be in your company.  Look at you!  You are here!  You lived through it!  Congratulations!

As opposed to my “previous life” when I was introduced as “Dr.” or “Rev.” or “Pastor”, my new “title” reminds me that I do not speak as one who is “above” the audience.   I am just one of many who share the same journey.  For some of us the journey has been long.  For some the climb is steep.  ALL of us have times when we want to stop.   But in the end, what matters is not how fast we walk or if we are quicker than the next guy.  What matters is that at the end of each day, we are still standing.  We  have survived. We will rest, and then we will face the battle of another day.

Here’s to you.  Here’s to all of us: “The Survivors”.

4 comments

隨筆。 給我的朋友。

September 6, 2010

 今天﹐一個愛錫我的人對我說﹕“我覺得你好似聖經中的所羅門王…”

 成功過。

 擁有過。

 建立過。

 勝利過。

 但偏偏你要為自己的生命作出最殘酷的裁判﹕

“我所作的一切都是虛空…捕風…”

 是自己的執著﹖是自己“轉牛角尖”﹖ 還是客觀的事實﹖是“中年難免的危機”﹖還是“成熟帶來的醒悟”﹖

 是真﹐是假﹖我再不懂得怎樣分了。

 在別人眼中最光明的地方﹐我見到鮮為人知的黑暗。

 在眾人的喝采中﹐我聽到自己良心的責備﹐在他人的擁抱中﹐我感覺到自己的污穢。

 我累了。

 但是在這真假交錯當中﹐我有你們去提醒我甚麼是“真”。

 在我感到低沉的時候﹐你們會“失驚無神”send 個email 來﹕“大統華龍蝦4.99一磅!Long Weekend我們上來打邊爐!!”

 跟着﹐當我還未有機會reply 時﹐email又一連串的來﹕

 “我買啤酒!!”

 “雞頭返來未呀? 買海鮮是他的強項!!!”

 話口未完﹐您們就把寒舍變成“林仔記火鍋店”﹕喝不完的啤酒﹐聽不厭的爛gag﹐當然﹐還有指定的飯後節目﹕百看不厭的“古惑仔”類型電影。

 星期六﹐在Uncle扮周秀娜和嗲少扮印度佬之間﹐我忽然覺得這﹐就是“真”…

 柴九兄說﹕“人生有幾多個十年﹖” 過去十年﹐甚麼“過時過節”﹐總少不了在我家的“飯局”。  好像無論我們當中有任何開心的事﹐都在這飯桌上慶祝過。

 幾年前﹐當我最失意的時間﹐當我感到最孤單的時候﹐又是您們“失驚無神”的打電話來﹕“我們weekend上來吃飯…”(您知道嗎﹖當年您們是第一個主動找我的人…)

 人生中﹐甚麼是成功﹐甚麼是失敗﹐甚麼是知足﹐甚麼是追求﹐甚麼是真﹐甚麼是假﹐其實都是一線之差﹐見人見智。是觀點與角度的問題。人生其實沒有太多事情是絕對的。

 當我們堅持要在相對的世界中找尋絕對的答案﹐這﹐就是執著﹐是“轉牛角尖”﹐是補風。

 但您們偏偏就是在我最亂﹐最迷茫的時候﹐教了我甚麼是“真”﹐ 甚麼是值得“珍惜”。

 謝謝您們!

 “天國好比財寶藏在田裏。有人發現了,就把它掩蓋起來,然後很高興地把自己所有的都變賣了,去購買那塊田。天國又好比一個商人尋找貴重的珍珠。當他發現了一顆極貴重的珍珠,就去賣掉他所有的一切,來購買那顆珍珠。”(馬太 13:44-45)

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