Hello…
This has to be the most awkward letter I have ever written in my life. Partly because we have never met each other, and we will never meet.
Also partly because in all likelihood, you will never read this letter.
But, today is a special day and I just felt like I should write to you…even though I don’t know who or where you are. It just felt…right, that you should know.
Today is Taylor’s special day. She is graduating from Kindergarten today!
I dropped her off at school this morning, and as usual she gave me a hug and a kiss. Although today she seemed to sense that something special is happening and she held onto me tigher, longer than usual. When she finally let go, she looked at me with those sparkling eyes and gently said, “Daddy, please make sure you are not late for the concert tonight.”
After waving goodbye and blowing more kisses, I turned and walked away, and as usual my heart ached a little. As I like to remind her every night when I tell her a story before putting her to bed: Everyday I start missing her the moment I leave her at school.
But today, as I walked away, I thought of you.
Over the last 5 years, I have often wondered what that moment must have been like for you when you left her and walked away the day she was born.
And to be honest, I have not thought of you fondly during that time. I have often asked, “What kind of a person can leave her own baby like that?”
But, as Taylor as grown over the past 5 years, so have I.
I have learned that in life, we all do things that we don’t want to. We all have moments we wish we can take back. And behind all of us are our own stories that only we can truly understand.
And so as I walked away today, I found myself thinking of you, and I realized, for the first time, it must have been so hard for you when you walked away that day.
I knew I’d see her later today when I walked away this morning. You had to walk away knowing you’d never see her again, ever.
I turned away with her smile in my mind. You had to turn away with her cries ringing in your ears.
It must have been so hard for you.
I don’t know your story, but I do know you have one. I don’t know how you have felt since that day or whether you still feel anything at all. I guess I just want you to know, that you brought into the world a beautiful little girl, an angel who has brought joy into every life she has met. Because of her, your story is woven into hers and lives on. Just like her story is woven into ours and, together, all our stories live on and move forward in the one great story of the world.
Perhaps one day, we will see this great story, and our stories come to a beautiful conclusion: ending with a world where no child will ever be left again. No parents will have to walk away from their children. Ever again.
But today, just felt like I should let you know, that Taylor is doing well. She is happy. She is beautiful. She has blossomed into a young lady that everyone falls in love with instantly. And as she grows, your story grows with her.
Wherever you may be, please take care. We will take good care of her.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
thanks for sharing Alfred. Definitely one of my favorite posts of yours.
It is very nice of you to think of your child’s mother and what she may have gone through…to learn more…please go to
http://www.originscanada.org BTW We are not “Birthmothers”…we are mothers.