How’s Life?

by Alfred Lam on August 24, 2010 · 4 comments

A few nights ago I was chatting with someone I haven’t talked to in a while and we talked about my journey over the last number of years.  In the course of the conversation we talked about what it’s like to live with depression, and he asked, “So, how’s life for you these days?”

I thought for a while, not sure how to respond.  Eventually I said, “I have learned to live one day at a time.  Some days are better than others.  There are days when everything seems bright, and hopeful, and joyous, and I feel like I am soaring with wings like an eagle.   There are days when things seem dark, and hopeless and I struggle to find my smile, and I feel like I am just trying to walk and not faint.  But I have learned that’s okay, because that’s life.  Most days I hit the pillow knowing that I have not been as good as I could have been, and I close my eyes hoping that tomorrow will be a better day than today.”

It was then that I realize the last few years have taught me an important lesson about life.  Life is lived today.  Life ls lived one day at a time, one moment at a time.  Rather than getting caught up in drafting 10 year visions and 5 year plans, I am simply learning to live moment by moment:  Waking up this morning, feeling the warmth of the morning sun on my bed, tying pig tails for my little girl as I dropped her off at daycare, sending a text message to my wife tell her I love her, sharing a laugh over lunch with my friends at work, sitting down by my little girl’s bedside, just watching her sleep, enjoying the peace of being alone late at night, writing down my thoughts…

Here’s to enjoying the moments of our everyday lives.  And thanks for sharing your moment with me, reading this. :-)

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Happily…with or without “ever after”

by Alfred Lam on August 7, 2010 · 2 comments

Last night I sang at our agency’s summer BBQ.  It was one of those fun gigs where nothing’s too serious, just out having a good time while singing a couple of tunes.  I closed out the set with 古巨基’s “下次再見” (“See You Next Time”).  I liked the song from the first time I heard it, partly because it’s so rare to hear a pop song with a beautiful classical guitar arrangement.  And I was so happy to have my good friend Philip Li playing it for me last night, who did a beautiful job.

While singing that song on stage, it suddenly hit me how time has changed me.   In my younger days I insisted on hanging on to things and people forever.   I evaluated the success of every relationship by how long it was kept.  For instance, we would call a long marriage a “successful” one, and if a marriage ended after a short while, we’d say the person had a “failed” marriage.  Perhaps we got it from our childhood bedtime stories:  that people had to end up together living “happily ever after.” 

But time, and pain, have been great teachers.  And I have learned from them one of the most important truths in life: Everything, everyone changes.  Not everything is meant to last “ever after”.  Nor is that a necessary pre-requsite to live “happily”.  People drift together, people drift apart.  That’s okay.  It’s not necessary a “good” thing or a “bad” thing.  It’s just a “life” thing.  斷線風箏散失風裡…軌跡改變那有錯或對…

I have since learned that rather than worrying about how long I may stay at one place, or how long different people will stay in my life, it’s better for me to focus on today, on the moments that I can share my life with them, and make sure I generously give them the very best that I have.   As I was singing, I saw my teammates whom I now work with everyday.  What a wonderful group of people!  I was reminded how blessed and fortunate I am to have the privilege of serving them, and seeing them help people everyday.   Who knows how long this will last?  But it doesn’t matter…I have learned it is possible to live “happily” with or without “ever after”.

下次再見…till next time :-)

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Upcoming…

July 25, 2010

I was sitting in a meeting this week with my blackberry trying to schedule some upcoming training sessions.  That’s when I noticed: We are almost into August!  Where did the Summer go?!?!
I thought I’d take this time to update you, my friends on what’s been happening with me and what are some of my immediate [...]

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A Glimpse of Heaven

July 4, 2010

“At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it….a Rainbow, resembling an emerald, encircled the throne.” (Revelation 4:1-3)
Today I saw a glimpse of heaven.
It’s not totally surprising, really.  Today being Sunday and everything.
But the aforementioned glimpse of heaven didn’t happen in church.  (Even [...]

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Today…

June 29, 2010

Today I woke up a little late, and Anna and Taylor was already moving in full speed through the morning routine.
“Daddy, should I wear shorts or pants today?”
Ugh.  Decisions, descisions.
As I slowly get up to speed, I thought to myself, “As long as there are choices and decisions to be made, I might as well [...]

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You’ve got a friend in me…

June 28, 2010

You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you’re miles and miles
From your nice warm bed
Just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you’ve got a friend in me

Tonight we took Taylor to see her first movie…Toy Story 3, in 3D!!  She had such a great time!  With [...]

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An open letter to Taylor’s birth mother…

June 11, 2010

Hello…
This has to be the most awkward letter I have ever written in my life.  Partly because we have never met each other, and we will never meet.
Also partly because in all likelihood, you will never read this letter.
But, today is a special day and I just felt like I should write to you…even though [...]

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Another satisfying gig!

June 10, 2010

A couple of nights ago I went and spoke/sang at  the volunteer appreciation night for Epilepsy of York Region.  Having my office next door to them for about a year gave me a first hand look at the wonderful work that they do.  So when my phone rang and the invitation came, I jumped on it [...]

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Today…

June 8, 2010

7:00am  Woke up.  Turned on the TV for Taylor’s morning cartoons.  Drove Anna to catch the Subway to work…still in my PJ’s (my brother in law watches Taylor while I am out in the morning)
7:25am Got back home.  Put on coffee, get breakfast ready (a slice of bread with peanut butter…lots of peanut [...]

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Upcoming performances/appearances

May 21, 2010

Woah…can you believe May is almost over and Summer is just around the corner?  As I begin to work on our summer schedule, I thought I’d throw together a quick post to let you guys know where I am playing and speaking over the next few weeks…as always, I can use all the kind thoughts, [...]

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